Brand new day

I am back!

2011-05-10T01:52:00.001-07:00

Am posting at blogspot after ages, feels good to be back.

I must say busy schedule kept me away from my blogging but since you will not buy this, let me tell you why. In these 2 years away from here, l saw a lot of truths about life and I found that I have grown older and learned to handle a lot of problem on my own. Also seeing too many problems confuses us; you don’t know where to start from.

Now, I have sometime on my own; it’s been more that 2 weeks I injured my ankle. I was on a posterior slab which was removed a couple of days ago. My foot still hurts but in these 2 years I have also improved a little in my meditation technique, I don’t feel that much pain as it is. If you meditate you know what I am talking about.

My current status is that I now stand at the crossroads of life; I have to decide which direction to take. I am having a hard time deciding about work, further studies when and where and important matters of life. At time like this I really wish how I had someone real who really understands my problem and helps me to decide. Maybe I am too idealistic when it comes to love and friendship, and maybe it is a reason I still feel like I am all alone despite the company of friends.

After a long time of rest I have finally decided to do my laundry little by little. I found I changed 4 bed sheets in 2 weeks. I have to simplify my life starting from the laundry basket itself.

memory lane

2008-12-23T15:01:00.000-08:00

I was cleaning my old stuffs, found few of the old paintings, sketches and pastel works ,some completed...some incomplete.

As about the painting of Nepal a senior artist once said it is never right to use completely black or white in painting.We should mix and create the color spectrum we wanted.The perspective of the lifeless tree was also too big with the context.

The lady in the short hairs was supposed to be my Japanese friend whom I tried to paint on her request but failed.The tika is real.

I miss my love for the painting.

2008-12-23T11:17:00.001-08:00

I have been asking myself a lot of questions lately....

After a long time December has been like a R&R time for me.Soon will come a day I have to leave this place.Time does seem to fly.

The social life specially the family life is what am missing at the moment.Its a good time to know yourself well, your strengths and weaknesses.When we were young, every time we made mistakes mom would always want us to do our sort analysis.It was like a compulsory punishment.Other than that my mother would have choices while giving us punishments.It felt like selecting an answer for a MCQ's.The point is I think if she was to make us have sort analysis again, It will be spontaneous and easy,I had enough time to know myself well.

Its an enlightening day and I want to share it with my blog.

Lots of us spend years of time for studies outside our country, the journey is definitely not easy.The transformation to the new environment is completely a stressful event.Some adapt easily and some do take time.We miss family, love,care , food, friends, hills, skies and uncountable other things from our home country.We continue to walk, the rhythm however of every individual differs and even when we do reach our destination the result we all get differs.If you have never asked ask yourself this question...maybe its the time...How much have you changed for good?

The time that passes doesn't come back.It will neither stop even when we do.Making everyday, even every hour matters.

What are my plans?How did I do today? Where did I waste my time on? Was wasting all this effort and time really worthy?How can I make it more worthy?

Ultimately by the time you reach home, after a gap of so many years friends and family do want to see a better you.New environment and exposure have changed us for sure.Have all this changes been for good? Have we given our friends and family who care so much about us the enough time they deserve? Have the people we spend our time and efforts really worth it?

Its a time to organize and manage ourself for good.

Dongji-winter solstice-Happy Winter:D

2008-12-21T15:09:00.000-08:00

As a medical student, I have long forgotten fearing the ghosts and evil spirits.The last time I got seriously felt haunted was when I was in my second year's second semester.One day during the cadaver dissection, my curiosity made me open the covered face of the cadaver.I cannot tell you nights after that.Nightmares made me wake up at the night, my stair-phobia came back, sometimes I just couldn't go to sleep, my heart pounded adding up the pressures of studies I had then.Time is the healer, I don't remember when I started to felt better.
December 21st is also called winter solstice.Scientifically its all about position of sun and the angular distance,making it longer nights and shorter days however all cultures have its own interpretations.Its celebrated as Dongji in China,Korea and some oriental countries.Its believed that on this cold night the ghosts and evils come out, that why in the past people believed to return home earlier, ate foods that could scare the spirits away and burnt things.
When science collides with myths, there is a chaos existing in my mind.However its interesting to know cultures.Also its a feeling that there are far too less knowledge and information I know before criticizing about it.After all the Hindu dashain we celebrate has also celebrated as victory of goodness over the evils.At the end of the day, goodness and positivity is what every religion wants to cultivate in us.Some ignorant Human's just misinterpret it.Nearly 2500 years ago "Dhamma=Dharma" meant "law of nature",like it was law or Dharma of mango tree to give mangoes not oranges......now we cannot interpret it without adding Hindu, buddha, sikh, jews etc...

As for now for all my blog readers, I wish you a happy winter.I also hope on this winter solstice scares all evils away from our mind.Hope we find the positive energy that can bring ultimate peace in us.

Wear enough warm clothes, eat well, take enough rest,exercise....specially boost up your immunity to fight this modern evils obesity and pollutants.

~aza aza~

welcome Luna...

2008-12-16T11:14:00.000-08:00

～罗琪娜欢迎你～
(Imagine me singing just like "Beijing Huanying ni" ;))

Welcome and happy stay here.

PS:So who is Didi this time?"At China, at Nepal rule"cannot be applied here ;)

～谢谢光临～

:D

Show me the way

2008-12-16T01:59:00.000-08:00

At the end of the day what remains with you is your knowledge you have gained through studies and experiences.
I just wish I have some replacement for the emptiness I feel deep inside.

Akira Kurosawa's Dreams

2008-12-10T09:41:00.000-08:00

Biological purpose of the dream have not been confirmed yet.Some hypothesis says its a grand rehearsal of the events that happen in life, so that when the event really occurs we are less shocked.New theories say it doesn't have any purposes.However some time or the other we do try to interprete it.We dream mostly during REM sleep , atleast most memorable of the dreams are during our REM sleepi.e. Rapid Eye movement sleep that includes 20-25% of our sleep, other includes the NREM(Non Rapid eye movement sleep).Most of forget maximum of our dreams by the time we wake up.
Akira Kurosawa's masterpiece movie Dreams is based on his actual dreams.All of us can dream and only few of us can explain to people what we really dreamed about.This is one of my favorites from one of the eight dreams that Akira Kurosawa have depicted so well in the movie.
Watching this reminds me of my fear I had in my childhood due to the recurring dreams.

*Enjoy*

Autumn drift

2008-12-06T08:51:00.000-08:00

क्यामराको लेन्समा मोतिबिन्दुको लक्षण देखा पर्नाले फोटो अली मधुरो अनी हल्लिएको छ , क्षमा चाहन्छु।

paraiso secreto

2008-12-03T16:06:00.000-08:00

स्वर सम्राट नारायण गोपाल गुरुवाचार्य

2008-12-02T12:54:00.000-08:00

Biography of one of the Nepalese all time favorite singer.

What makes a good doctor?

2008-11-30T10:49:00.000-08:00

In the ocean of knowledge what I have got is not even a handful.Yet the thirst is so huge .
The road really looks very long , so long that I cannot see the destination that I have settled all I know this is just a beginning.Tell me what it takes to makes a good doctor?

Avalokitesvara mantra

2008-11-24T08:36:00.000-08:00

It felt so peaceful to listen to this enchantment.

*भवतु सब्ब मङलम्*

माया त माया हो ...

2008-11-16T05:24:00.000-08:00

another romantic Nepali song....

...and I can't help myself humming together.

***Enjoy***

Children's of heaven

2008-11-07T03:42:00.000-08:00

Why do children have to suffer for the mistakes that big people make?

Neurological Ward at Children's Hospital Of Fudan University has 3 orphans, all of them are seriously ill, one is suspected of also having Kawasaki disease.If untreated it can have a serious effect on the heart.At the end of the corridoor there is one of the many lucky patient with almost 6 to 7 big people surrounding him always, whereas a ayi from the orphanage takes care of all 3 kids.

My heart is with all the children who are lonely and seriously sick.How can someone be so irresponsible?How can the parents be so stone-hearted to abandon them to suffer alone?...whereas there cuteness just feels my heart.

I am looking for the answer.

6 years of solitude....

2008-10-27T08:55:00.000-07:00

Calling card for home is never enough....home definitely is where my heart is.
After a long time got to talk with my busy bee brother.He was asking me how is my life here....inspired from the title of the book I am reading now" 100 years of solitude", I told him..."6 years of solitude...."something came naturally".... I am tired of China life，I want to be home soon。”
My brother always cheers me up by his humor, he told me about his colleague from the reservation unit who is so into the job that when he picks up calls in his cellphone many times naturally goes" Hello, reservation!!".Its still making me laugh.
I love flowers.My dad and me when it came to buy new plants and plant it we were like best friends.I am close to my mom otherwise.Today when I called home my parents were out for buying flower for the Puja tomorrow.I cannot help but be nostalgic.I think my love for the flowers goes back to my childhood.I have been blessed to see the divine wild flowers in the grasslands of Nilgiri Mountain, Nepal.Also lovely flowers my grandmother planted in our vegetable garden.My heart is filled with excitement whenever I think about this perfect Shangrila.For me thats where my Shangrila lies.
Talking to you was a pleasure my friend,R.a.n.j.e.e.t.As you told its really been a while due to this busy life.I wish you all the best with your endeavours.A devoted son of your parents like you....I am glad to have you as one of my friends.
I feel so content today.I have a new friend whom I have talked in my photolife.I feel like the character from the movie Cast-away played by Tom Hanks when he found the ball he called wilson.What should I name my plant?
A very happy Tihar to all of you.
May all your wishes come true.

Mind-reading

2008-10-26T08:13:00.000-07:00

Article from
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=20070830-000002&page=1

If a baby starts to cry several hours after drinking his last bottle, his mother knows precisely what he's feeling: He's hungry. But suppose a woman's eyes brim with tears while she watches a DVD. Her husband sinks into the couch: What is she so upset about? She might tell him directly: "This movie is so tragic. It's all about a doomed romance." That may be true. But she could be thinking about how the story reminds her of her own marital troubles. Maybe she's feeling hurt because she thinks her husband should realize what's bothering her and acknowledge it. Or maybe she isn't even aware that her real-world concerns are intensifying her reaction to the fictional couple.

Quickly and unknowingly, he scours his mental files—on his wife's relationship history, on her reaction to the fight they had that morning, on the way she typically reacts to similar movies. He notes the particular quiver to her voice, observes the way she's curled up on the couch, watches the expressions flickering across her face. He takes in information from all of these channels, filters it through his own wishes and biases… until finally it hits him: She knows about his mistress!

Every day, whether we're pushing for a raise, wrestling with the kids over homework, or judging whether a friend really likes our latest redecorating spree, we're reading each other's minds. Drawing on our observations, our databank of memories, our powers of reason, and our wellsprings of emotion, we constantly make educated guesses about what another person is thinking and feeling. Throughout the most heated argument or the most lighthearted chat, we're intently collecting clues to what's on the other person's mind at the moment. "It's a perceptual ability I call mindsight," says Daniel Siegel, UCLA psychiatrist and author of The Mindful Brain. "It allows your brain to create a map of another person's internal state."

Mind reading of this sort—not to be confused with the infallible superhero kind of telepathy—is a critical human skill. It's the way we make sense of other people's behavior and decide on our own next moves. Mind reading enables us to negotiate, compete, cooperate, and achieve emotional closeness with others. It lets us figure out when we're being manipulated or seduced. It's how we know when someone finds our jokes hilarious or is humoring us out of politeness. Mind-reading ability is perhaps the most urgent element of social intelligence.

Do it poorly and the consequences are serious: It can lead to conflict born of misunderstanding. It can make us feel lonely within a relationship. It can even incite violence: Abusive husbands typically—and inaccurately—attribute critical thoughts to their wives; that's why they lash out. Difficulty divining others' thoughts and feelings—"mindblindness"— characterizes autism and is what makes the condition so socially debilitating.

Decades of research on mind reading (or, as psychologists call it, empathic accuracy) now reveal how it works, who's especially good at it, and how we can improve our ability to divine others' thoughts—even when our conversation partners may not know their own minds. The thoughts and feelings of others, including those closest to us, are far from transparent; that makes mind reading the only way to know someone beyond the mere surface. It's the only way to achieve true intimacy. And the only way to love someone for who he or she really is.

Habibi

2008-10-24T10:47:00.000-07:00

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

-Neil Gaiman-
English born American Novelist

Love at first sight

2008-10-24T10:08:00.000-07:00

and I love you so ......^^

Yangzhou Marathon

2008-10-10T22:42:00.001-07:00

This photo is composed by Luna, my finishing time was 2 hours 50 minutes and 38 seconds.

The wanderer

Yangzhou University

Backyard of Luna's Home

Lovely friend I met at Danyang

Mustard flowers

打招呼

Qin Liang , deeply motivated by the nature

Better late than never, my marathon dreams....and the memories captured during this journey using 3 different cameras of QinLiang,Luna and me.

Delivery Room

2008-10-09T07:59:00.000-07:00

Just sometime ago I was sad about lots of things but I realized life is too precious too waste time on these tiny matters.Whenever you feel sad look on the brighter sides of life.
This 2 days at the delivery room of the maternity ward has been a wonderful experience.Pregnant mother in labor and pool of blood , she forgets everything on hearing the baby's first cry.Its like seeing angels, they are so cute that its a feeling I want one for myself too.:)

Gynecology & Obstetrics Rotations

2008-10-06T04:17:00.000-07:00

Just reached home after the orientation at the women's hospital, my workplace for this 1 month.
The October vacation is over.1 week passed so quickly.The next vacation is nowhere in sight.Never mind, I have to make best use of my time at the Women's hospital, for my Nepalese sisters who have been bearing so many gynecological and obstetrical problems without a word of complain.
According to the UNICEF's 2006 report 1 in every 200 pregnant women in Nepal dies giving birth. In a country like Nepal reasons definitely can be numerous, poor access to medical care, poor health education,poverty, malnutrition and the low status of women are the main causes that we all know.
Seclusion of women during menses is not a new phenomenon for our culture.However due to extreme seclusion at some villages in Karnali zone, young girls and women die due to infection and other health problems as a complication of this extreme cultural or religious belief.(These secluded girls have to wash themselves, their clothes and mattress/blankets everyday-during cold season often they are sleeping using the same wet mattress in a shed).
Dysmenorrhea (uterine pain during mensuration) ,Premenstrual syndrome etc are some of the many problems that even the males should have knowledge about so they can have a better understandings with their partners or family members.
Its not easy to give birth to a child but a mother does it.We often forget the value of women and take their feelings and care for granted.I specially hate when boys add mother/sister to a swearing word.I don't think men's manhood does lie in such words.In my ideal world, anybody respecting their mother wouldn't definitely utter such words.
There are so many things to write, however time is limited for today.Have to wake up at 5.45 to 6 tomorrow.Reporting time is 7. 15 AM.Luckily its nearer than the children's Hospital.

May You rest in peace auntie

2008-09-22T09:13:00.000-07:00

GI ward's bed 16 was where I saw her.A patient with liver metastases and upper esophageal constriction.She had a total Gastrectomy last year due to the big C.She could have been treated at home only if she could eat but the constriction made it impossible.By the time I met her she was in her last stage, sometimes she managed to smile despite of the heavy pain and sorrow she buried inside.Her husband, the uncle was how I managed to get close to her.I was checking the blood pressure of Bed 13,another shanghainese ayi with Primary biliary cirrhosis, she asked if I could help her husband check the BP.It was quite high, but I could feel the tension undergoing between them that's why I wanted to check again in the morning when things were well and calm.
Later rotation landed me at Hematological ward, I would see uncle around smoking heavily.He was complaining her temper was becoming worse.Sometimes she asked him to get paper and pen to make up..........she would write inside,outside uncle would smoke heavily.I am sad that due to the hectic schedule I couldn't give him and family the enough emotional support I could provide and they needed.When I went to see them after nearly 4 weeks, I was late.I missed her......the senior doctor said she left us all last week.
I am not feeling good today,I miss her who always managed to smile to me despite of all the pain she had.I miss her hands which I held and talked.I miss her pigmented eyes which still had hopes of being cured.I promise I will be a good doctor that you mentioned, the road may look long but I hope I will make it.I am sorry that I am too small and powerless, I had no answers for her when she asked if there was any cancer medication in Nepal.
.........and I hope all of you take the best care of your health.Health really is wealth and happiness.Nothing is more important.
In memory of loving Bed 16, Zhang Long Di, my chinese aunt.I really missed you enormously today.The bed is still empty...and will always remind me of you.
May you rest in Peace!!

Dream Deferred by Langston Hughes

2008-05-10T09:12:00.000-07:00

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

One of my favorite ....

what a day...

2008-04-30T04:08:00.001-07:00

Believe me, Shanghai'S Traffic is just getting naughtier ...in average of 5000 per month,new vehicles are increasing but off course roads are almost the same...
the chances of getting late to the work and class is increasing.Have to re-estimate the time needed to reach the destination and don't wait for cab's during the rush hours , weekends and rainy days, walking might make u reach the destination earlier...than waiting for the cab's.

2008-04-29T10:37:00.000-07:00

I am desperately in need of the May vacation....some days of freedom is all I am looking for ...

I have a feeling that I am getting only stupider day by day, unlike my past years I feel the difficulty in memorizing things, I am not as active and quick as I use to be...
is the language to be blamed?

2008-04-17T11:27:00.001-07:00

Ask to describe the time they had fallen deeply in love, many men record an exciting experience. Many men even described symptoms of heartache when in love. Some men mentioned that they didn?t like the feeling of being out of control when in love. Some men even held themselves back from falling in love. In fact most men said they preferred a daily love relationship to be in love. Some described love that they had felt when very young with the great feeling of distress; others moaned the loss of romantic love in marriage. Men?s first feelings of falling in love were as joyous and exciting as women?s but after there initial happiness most backed off and distrusted the very feelings that have given them such pleasure. Men are chained at early age too distrust emotions , men distrust the vulnerability of loves feelings so much that the majority of marriages are not based on love. Most of the men did not marry the women they had been most in love with although they emphasize that they love there wife so much to leave them.

Sleepless @ Shanghai

2008-04-10T07:07:00.000-07:00

Its been while...
Oh yes, I finished 21 kilometers in 2 hours 50 minutes and 38 seconds.3 hours was the valid time.I was happy I didn't give up...but definitely I have earned an experience of a lifetime.I was checking on 2 things mainly, my determination and my heart function..both turned out to be much better than my own presumptions.Someday I will post the marathon experience....thanks to all those lovely hearts that was cheering us.xie xie....I owe u all tonnes of Gratitude,specially to my fellow runner "a mei" from Beijing new oriental @ Yangzhou, I am sad I couldn't take her contact address.If she didn't cheer me up, maybe I wouldn't have completed the race...maybe...

There are so many things going in my head, its been ages I haven't meditated..maybe thats why I am unable to control my emotions,my heart is ruling my mind.I am into a serious attachment which I have no explanations over...or maybe this is all natural things to happen.Looking at the brighter sides of life,I mustn't let my insecurity rule me, this is not me...:)

Stomatology(oral Medicine) and ENT's exams are on 24th and 28th of this month respectively...time flies, someday maybe I will update my blog from Nepal or somewhere else...as for now If I had the time key I would love to see what 10 years from now have for me, no no I change back my thoughts....I want to go back to 15 years backwards, my parents would be younger than they are and my grandparents still together.I miss you baje...you occupy so much of my thoughts despite of the infinite difference in the worlds we stay...
Let me study before I make things worse :) Books can be sometime a great hypnotic u can ever find in a drug store,specially when u have to be with it all the time ...

Recuerdos de las vacaciones de invierno

2008-03-11T09:39:00.000-07:00

Somewhere over the rainbow.........

2008-03-01T01:34:00.000-08:00

I couldn't access Blogspot again....apologies if I can't reply or comment on your sites:)I will whenever I can....
How did this week go? nothing great to talk about except that yesterday I got a chance to go to the emergency ward of our hospital,and I felt emotional as usual.It hurts to see patients so much in pain.There are so many things to do, so many goals to achieve, so many pains to ease.....how many years till I can really be able to do all this? For now I can do nothing than just to feel empathic for them.

Since it was a good sunny Friday, I went for strolling for nearly an hour, random strolling around our school.I brought things I didn't plan , I stopped by the places I thought I wouldn't and I didn't go to the place I had to go......later after studying for sometime,I went to see Rena jiejie near the Sasha's.Its been a long time I didn't cycle, it was full of dust.....found one of the break was broken, thought I would repair on the way but saw no repair shops.When I was crossing the Hengshan-Wulumuqi Road , I tried to shift to the Pedestrian road , its was just when I fell down so badly, my quick reflex saved me from getting badly hurt however today I found I have a swelling in my right leg and some bruises. Chinese people are busy people, they have no time to give you a help in such situations or maybe they don't want to interfere or get involved in other people's business, one foreigner passed by was coming to me and trying to help me.I got up on my legs and found I was ok , no bones were broken , so thanked him for his kindness and walked down the pedestrian street.Only a foreigner can understand foreigners pain maybe, or maybe its just cultural differences.I shouldn't generalize again.Thank you to whoever he was for stopping by for help.May you find a true friend in this lonely Shanghai :)This might be a lesson to you, don't ride a broken bike or cycle...;)

I must have been really absent minded for a while, the brush I brought at Carrefour few weeks ago, I don't know where I left it.So I went to the Watson's only to see the hair brushes are on ranges of 30 ..40 Yuan,maybe its because almost all brushes were the Vidal Sassoon's .I tell you these days Shanghai life is just getting expensive, Martin jiefu is right when he says " Yi ge tiantang zhengzai xiaoshi"-"one heaven is vanishing", so true , things at Shanghai is getting expensive day by day, the milk products appreciated by 30%.The clothes we use to buy at 50 now they say 150 . Xiangyang Market is also removed for more than a year and now similar shops can be found at Longhua , Nanjing Road and Kejiguan, and the shopkeepers are not nice as they use to be before,I don't know if its the bad business or the weather ;)

oh Yesterday night while cycling back to the dormitory, I wanted to cycle for longer time.It was a nostalgic and romantic moment.Random songs playing from my playlist, less vehicles and wonderful night I can't tell you how romantic things can get sometimes.Try it someday.......back then when I was studying language , me and Ahsan we cycled lots of places at Yangpu district of Shanghai.Sometimes with Jiun anni, Ket Vilay, Satomi Chan,Feifei and Park, memories just fly by.When I was taking night classes in winter Satomi Chan would often come to pick me up on her cycle and it was great to eat the dinner she had made ready for us. Thankful to Shanghai for the great friends I met here, its lovely to recall it anytime, how I wished it would have lasted longer.

Life and people at medical school, its pretty difficult to explain how is our guanxi.....We all are busy with out own businesses.Among our seniors Its good that dai's like Ruimu ge ge gives us guidances and share his clinical knowledge, he has always been a constant support.Thank you , dai :)

Saturday.... had a Hotpot made at my room with Kamila and Aizhmal.I was worried if my room will smell like an Hotpot restaurant (Huoguo dian) but it wasn't like I expected.Maybe its the floor wiper that I used ;)Azher, the other friend from Tulufan was here to study some English.
Then I went out to the Xu jia Hui Park with Ekjeh for running. We normally run inside the campus but today I really wanted to go to the park for a change.

......To be continued , I have study now.

marathon dreams

2008-02-27T02:05:00.000-08:00

Dear blogspot

On 6th of April , I have decided to take part in Yangzhou Marathon, I wanted to jot down this thing in my blog so that tomorrow whenever I am in my blogs, I can recall how much I am filled with zeal and dreams to fullfill my run at this moment.I just want to finish the marathon, I don't have high aims , but I do want to cover all distances and reach my destination.I hope u will wish me luck .

I will let u know more.

PS: this picture is from the Korean movie Marathon(2005), based on true story of Cho-won, the autistic marathon runner.

http://www.lovehkfilm.com/panasia/marathon.htm

We all are special, all we need is love and care and we really can excel.

Have a great semester:)

2008-02-20T00:58:00.001-08:00

If wishes were my horses, I wish this holiday would go on forever but it has come almost to an end,study wise this will be my last semester but since I have few more credits to finish I will be taking some classes while doing my internship simultaneously.
It feels like it was just few months ago I was here and now soon will be a time to pack my bags and leave for achieving my dreams.I have lots of worries and excitements about my future,I hope everything will be alright, as for now my job is too study hard and brush up my clinical skills and knowledge and aspire for the best.
Happy days :)

Happy Valentine's day :)

2008-02-11T07:39:00.000-08:00

Besame
Besame mucho
Como si fuera esta noche la ultima vez
Besame
Besame mucho
Que tengo miedo pederte, perderte otra vez
Quiero tenerte muy cerca
mirarme en tus ojos
verte junto a mi
Piensa que tal vez manana yo ya estare lejos
muy lejos de ti.
Besame
Besame mucho
Como si fuera esta noche la ultima vez
Besame
Besame mucho
Que tengo miedo pederte, perderte despues

All the best My onni :)

2008-02-04T20:57:00.000-08:00

Jiun Onni left for Korea today, on May 18th she is getting married to Oba.
I met her in the winter of 2003.Ah, time flies , its already been nearly 5 years.We stayed together at 1010 for a year, all memories just fly by.
During the SARS time lots of our classmates and friends went back home fearing the epidemic,my parents specially my dad wanted me to come back , but mom said what about the chinese people where will they go? You daoli, so we decided "we will fight SARS" ,thats a funny promise we made as roommates.Those desolated dormitory days, memories just flash by, often at middle of the night we would go to the balcony and shout" I want to go back home!","Aza,Aza fighting!"etc and some other would shout back yelling something funny.One day it happened our stocks got over, we didn't have anything left in the room to cook so we decided to go to the E-mart and get some food, however we feared the crowded place, also happened that maybe due to the air ventilation of the mart or maybe we have been putting mask for long time , when we came back from E-mart, we both started to feel uneasy, had headache,runny nose etc...we got all the symptoms of SARS , except the fever, ha ha those memories, we were saying if the thermometer hit 38 degrees anytime , we could be quarantined anytime lol, we would be kept in ventilators etc .The next day we were just fine, maybe it was bad ventilation and psychosomatic problem.
One day Onni came back from classes saying that she found somebody she liked,after view days I invited him along with other classmates for a Nepalese dinner,that was the first time I saw Oba closely, we however had a communication problem due to language barrier then I never thought,they would marry someday ,its a lovely match, I wish them the world of happiness at their feet.
one day there was a Football match between Korea and Japan, we 3 were watching the match together,we had certain bets to ask for. I told her if Korea wins , Onni have to kiss Oba,Oba was asking for the lip to lip kiss,I didn't know what would I be doing if it was really that way but I was sticking to that too lol but she bargained and made it till the cheek kiss ha ha , all of sudden she wanted to change her camp to Japan lol.However Korea did win and after kissing Oba at his cheeks Onni left for bathroom in an embarrassment .We 3 were dying laughing so much on that day.Oba was so glad lol. ha ha ha .Once we decided we will hug each other every time we see each other lol, for few times we just came closer and ran away ha ha but today before leaving me she was hugging me like her baby.I never imagined I will find a sister far from home.It makes me so sad that she is no more at my reach like my family on a phone call and taxi-bus ride away, but I am happy for her.
After she moved back to Korea and then to Tianjin, once Oba gave me a call calling me for Dinner since it was long we hadn't met each other.I met him at the road near his home, while we were walking towards "The chatres", somebody scared me to death hugging my neck from back.There she was my "Chopok" Onni surprising me to death."Chopok" mean gangster in Korean, since we maintained a very clean room lot of times people came by were just surprised and would ask her , do u beat your roommate and make her clean the room, she would translate to me and we would laugh to death and utter this word "chopok" , it was just that we both had a schedule" happy room 1010 scheme", we divided our work as per days in the week and our aim was to own the cleanest room at the dormitory, we wanted everybody to envy our room, great expectations lol, maybe we got successful till certain extend that whoever came left no chance of praises but I am not sure if it was the cleanest room in the domitory, we laugh now sometimes when we go to each others home, we had become messier staying alone.
After she moved back to Shanghai again she called me one day and we went for cycling, I still remember the night we stayed under the grand statue at the Main campus and talked for hours things due said for months.
When I came back from Nepal on 2003 I had a very short hair,I actually thought of Shaving it but my parents thought it was my crazy idea.I know it really is for them , but for me its still is a cool thought.... have to do it someday when I can be in isolation for sometime and she presented me a beautiful hair clip which I couldn't even use at that time, I was confused why was that, and I read a emotional letter that she had for me , for how she wanted me to grow long hair and become a lady soon,how she missed my long hair more than I did.
Though I have quite adjusted well lonely life at shanghai now, with her leaving Shanghai definitely makes me feel all alone now,Satoko , satomi and now her.All my roommates and good friend are away..... this thoughts at difficult times makes me feel little blue but this is what life is all about, even though when friends and family are together we have to fight alone our problems, heartaches and pains.You all might have your own stories to tell.If I say I am all alone that wouldn't be fair again since I have Rena jiejie , Wenjie gege and Luna sis also my family constantly worrying and taking care of me despite of the distances but due to our own busy lives and physical distances its difficult to call each other even when we really need each other.She was someone whom who would always call me to get updates from my life, always been around in difficult times,thanks to Shanghai for the wonderful friends I have met here .I wish my Onni and Oba a wonderful and happy married life.I hope I can attend the marriage without any exams or things coming between.

Nostalgia

2008-02-04T20:07:00.000-08:00

येहा कति चिसो ,AC फ्री नै हो तर खोलेर बस्यो भने लिप्स् अनि स्किन् सबै सुखा हुन्छ , तेसैले खोल्नु नि मन्न लाग्दैन , हट बेड पनि त्यही छ प्रोब्लम टाउको दुख्छ धेरै बस्योउ भने ।
हुन त जोम्सोमको चिसो मैले बिर्सिएको जस्तो छ , हिउदोमा जहिले पनि काठमाडौं औने भएर पनि मलाई याद न भएको होला । तर् एक्पल्टको चाहि याद् छ , बाहिर् हिउमा खेल्न गयेको , बाजेले म भाडाकुटि खेल्दा अन्डाको खोस्टामा भात् पकौनु भाको आदि, बजैले तेहि बर्ष सिध्यौनु भयेको ब्लान्केट् मा मैले नि अलि अलि बुन्न सिकेको थिये, अहिले सम्म पनि जोम्सोममा छ त्यो कम्बल् , देखौदै बजैले पहिलाको कुराहरु सुनौनु हुन्छ।
बाजेले बर्षभरि कोइला बनौनु हुन्थ्यो , जाडोमा मकलमा आगो ताप्नको लागि , winterमा जोम्सोममा बढि गहतको दाल् अनि राति"खु" भन्ने soup जस्तो खाना बढी खाइन्छ धेरै बस्योउ भने जसमा हरियो साग सब्जी पाएमा हरियो साग सब्जी , सुकुटी , दुर्खा , आलु , beans हरु हालेर पकाइन्छ ,सुपको बेस् चाँही गँहुको पिठो युज गरिन्छ ।चिसोमा बजैले स्याउ खान नै दिनु हुँदैन थियो चिसो लाग्छ भनेर
,स्याउ चिसोमा जाने खानेकुरा हो रे तेसैले चिसोमा नखानु भन्दो रहेछ
,तर सुकाएको फलफुल हरु चाँही टन्न खान दिनु हुन्थ्योउ , तर् मलाइ फेरि मन् नपर्ने...
जोम्सोम स्कुलमा पढदा हाम्रो एउटा रश्मी भन्ने मि्स् हुनुहुन्थ्योउ , जहिले पनि लामो लामो नङ्ले विद्यार्थी हरुलाइ चिमोटने बानि थियो उहाको , बिनोद् राइ भन्ने क्लास्मेट्को ले क् कुरा मा हो खुटामा हान्दा भएको घाउको दाग् अहिले सम्म छ , रश्मि मिस्स् ले पछि तेहि ठाउमा stickले गोचेर फेरि रगत् निकालिदिनु भएको अझै सम्म याद् छ , म सानोमा पढाइमा राम्रो थिये , घरमा बाहेक् बाहिर् त सोझो पनि हो , तर् किन् कुटाइ खान्थे भन्ने बुझ्न सकेको थिइन ...
रश्मी मिस् र पछी पटनाको राजन कुमार भन्ने सर होला म कहिले पनि respectको नाम मा R पनि दिन सक्दिन , मेरो बिचार मा personal interest लाइ लिएर studentहरुको लाईफ सँग खेलवाड गर्नु जस्तो नराम्रो कुरा केही पनि हैन ।

तिमी बिना बाँच्न गार्हो भो ......

2008-01-05T06:30:00.000-08:00

मलाई यो गीत एकदम नै राम्रो लाग्छ ,
आजभोलि पढ्दा पढ्दै ब्रेक मा यो गीतको याद आउछ अनि म youtubeमा यो गीत सुन्न गयि हाल्छु कस्तो मेलोडिअस् छ यो गीत ,
सेन्टीमेन्टल अनि रोमान्चक
तपाईंहरु पनि सुन्नुस् है , कस्तो कस्तो है ?

धेरै गीत म गुनगुनाउन रुचाउछु तर यो गीत सुनिरहु मात्रै जस्तो लाग्छ .....शायद मनिला सोताङ दिदी र उदय सोताङ दाइले भित्रै देखि गाउनु भएर पनि एत्ती मर्मिक लागेको होला मलाई यो गीत ।

Enjoy the song ：）

2008-01-04T01:01:00.000-08:00

This poem just boost my morals....it was taught in our school days but then it was too deep for me to understand....hope u all like it.

IF-By Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!--

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”-Happy new year 2008

2008-01-02T06:59:00.000-08:00

सानो हातैमा हराउला जस्ता साना premature बेबिहरुलाई Hospital को respiratory ventilator मा देख्दा मेरो मन कस्तो खिन्न भयो…त्यो वार्डमा हाम्रो Teacherको अनुसार २ जना बिदेशी सहित चाइनाका कुना काप्चाँका हरुपनि थिए ।

चाइनामा one child policyले गर्दा बच्चा त्यसैले पनि गाउँघरमा छोराको ठुलो खाँचो मानिन्छ यसकारण पनि शहरमा आउनेहरुको घुँयिचो छ ।
वार्डको बाहिर फेरी पेशन्ट पार्टीको रुवाबासी ,मलाई अझै नराम्रो लाग्यो ।
धेरै कुरा डाक्टरको हातमा छैन यो मैले बुझेको छु, त्यो माथि अझै म त "अन्डर कन्स्त्रक्सन,म" केही पनि गर्न सक्दिन मात्र भाबुक अनि thoughtful हुन बाहेक….. मलाई बच्चाहरु धेरैनै मन पर्छ(सबैलाइ जस्तै ),बच्चाले यो संसार अझै रमाइलो अनि सुन्दर बनाउन धेरै मदत गर्छ जस्तो मलाई लाग्छ ।
मलाई लाग्छ बच्चाहरुको अगाडि positiveकुरा गर्नु जरुरी छ ।
तपाईंलाई कोही साथी मन पर्दैन भने त्यो मान्छेको negative कुरा त अगाडि गर्दै नगर्नुस् बरु “जौ गएर अन्कल आन्टीलाई हेल्लो भन”भन्नुस् तपाईंको साथी सँग तपाईंको रिलेसन पनि राम्रो हुन्छ ,मलाई एस्तो लाग्छ ।
बच्चाहरु साँच्चि भगवानका अर्का रुप हुन रे , मलाई थाहा छैन भगवान कस्ता हुनुहुन्छ तर हंसिलो बच्चा देख्दा मनमा जस्तो आनन्द आउछ त्यो फिलिङ म एक्स्प्लैन गर्नै सक्दिन ।
भर्खरै कुरा गर्दा गर्दा मैले त आफ्नो कस्तोpositiveमात्रै जस्तो इम्प्रेसन दिए होला
, पछील्लो बर्ष Shanghaiको Metroमा मैले एक्जना बच्चालाइ झन्ंदै मेट्त्रो बाट बाहिर फाल्दिएको……!!!

कुरा के भएको थियो भने म सिटमा बसेको थिए ,एउटा स्टप्मा ट्रैन रोकियो त्यो बच्चा पहिला खुरुर आएर आफ्नो आमा अनि बजैको लागि ठाउँ रोक्न आयो । रोक्ने सिल्सिलामा फुच्चेले मलाई त कस्तो नराम्रो सित खुटटामा हानेको , म एक्छिन संहेर बसे तर त्यो फुच्चेले कस्तो मलाई मान्छे नगनेको?
ठाउँ खास्मा भरेको पनि थिएन तर बच्चाले त मलाई घचेटछ पो , मैले चाइनिज मा भने "behave!!!!" ओहो फुच्चे झन चम्किन्छ पो, कस्तो दुख्ने गरी घचेटको मलाई, त्यस्पछी त मेरो कानबाट धुवा निस्क्यो ,मैले पनि ब्रेस्क्फास्ट देखिको बल निकालेर आमानिरै पुराइदिए हा हा हा…. , वास्तव मा यदि त्यो बच्चाको आमाले मलाई कराएको भएए मैले आमालाइ पनि मेत्रो बाहिर फलिदिन्थे होला?....यस्तो नराम्रो रिस् उठेको पो थियो ।
एक्छिन त मैले बच्चाँलाइ गएर घचेटने मात्रै हैन एक थप्पड त्यस्को गालामा दिने विचारमा थिए , तर गुरुजिको याद आयो,कन्ट्रोल गरे आँफैलाई ।तर कस्तो गाह्रो भएको मलाई ।
चाइनामा one child policyले गर्दा सबै बच्चाहरु little emperor र little empress रे
अनि economic burdenले गर्दा आमा बुवा काममा, बाजे बजैले हुर्कौदा त अझै बच्चा त emperor मात्रै हैन emperorका पनिemperor जस्तो …….म त्यो कुरा राम्ररी बुझेकी छु किनकी म पनि घरको दादानै थिए सानोमा , त्यसैले मेरो बजै ले मलाई भन्नुहुन्त्यो" घरको बाघ बहिरको स्याल्" , तर ति बच्चा त बाहिरको पनि महावाघ जस्तो छ !!!जनाशङ्ख्याको कारणले यो चिनिया बाबु आमाको बाध्यता पनि हुन सक्छ कि बच्चालाइ समाजमा इन्डिपेन्डेन्ट बनाउने प्रोशेस् मा बच्चाको एस्तो नराम्रो बानिमा पनि नसम्झाउनु .....
तर जे सुक्कै बाध्यताहोस् बच्चाहरुलाई बेलाइमा राम्रो नसिकाए नसम्झाए यो दुनियाँको के होला ??

बच्चाहरु biologically cute माया लाग्दा हुनुको कारण के हो भने बच्चाहरु माया लाग्दा नभये आमा बाबुले सजिलै abandon गरि दिन सक्छन् रे , यो scientific logic हो मैले readers Digestमा पढेको ।यो संसारमा अहिले डिभेलपमेन्ट अनि इकोनोमिक बर्डेन ले गर्दा बच्चाहरु प्रतिको मोह अनि माया गट्दै गएको छ । यो राम्रो साइन भने पक्कै हैन । मेडिकल कारण बाहेक premature babyहुनुको एउटा कारण बातावरण प्रदुशन पनि हो जुन कारण चाइनामा premature baby को नम्बर बढेको एक कारण पनि हुन सक्छ

साँच्चिनै माया लाग्दा हुन्छन बच्चाहरु ।

ठुलाबडाको गल्तिको कारणले तिनिहरुलाई अझै कस्ट नपरोस् , यो मेरो new year wish हो ।

PS:

http://english.peopledaily.com.cn/200607/07/eng20060707_280936.html

(This is the link for Palm-sized baby on People's daily)

2007-12-28T15:38:00.000-08:00

Dharmashringa,Vipassana Camp @ Muhanpokhari .
Thats the Burmese style pagoda with Individual cells for meditating,anybody interested?
Actually individual cells are for old students only(new students might fall asleep on getting chances to be alone ha ha ha kidding),New Dhammahall with capacity to hold more meditaters will soon open,am not sure if it already did :O)

Happy days :)

"with love to my grandfather"

2007-12-26T08:47:00.000-08:00

I thought 8 years time was lot enough to forget u but it wasn't.I thought our shock on losing u would get better with time only to realize that the wound's are as fresh sometimes.

Back in Nepal whenever I missed u I would go to Swayambhu and offer some butter-lamps to almighty to give a better life wherever u were...I can't do that here.Dai is also not around to tease me and burst me in laughter whenever I would get nostalgic about u.

I use to be scared child before, u know that? But after losing u I think I am lot braver, I started believing u will always protect me no matter what.

Today when I am so faraway from home I continue to miss u, things would have lot different if u were alive.Its been nearly 6 years I haven't returned back to Jomsom.If u were alive I could have gone there every time I would be back at Nepal , U also would have been so proud of me for taking medicine.I had lots of dreams ...I dreamed someday I along with dais would take u around the world, but alas that dream never could come real even if we become successful.

We all miss u a lot, Its sad that u were a great grandfather.Had u been bad to us we would have hardly missed u...sometimes I think like that because I miss u a lot.U probably were angry with us for something that u left us without a word.Its been 8 years ...I am also a lot better person than I use to be,I will continue to make me better so u r always proud of me.

Miss u a lot ....u r the best grandfather in the world.

:D

2007-05-30T10:34:00.000-07:00

For those who simply love " The Shawshank Redemption" have some laugh.

2007-05-28T22:11:00.000-07:00

"the more the bombers,the less oom for the doves of peace"-Nikita Khrushchev

Lovely Doves @Century Park,shanghai

"Look within!... The secret is inside you"-Hui-Neng (the Sixth Patriarch of Chinese Zen lineage)

'Mirror mirror on the water who is the best fisher of them all' @century Park ,shanghai

मेरा प्यारा रुपाहरु

2007-05-18T06:53:00.000-07:00

रुपा माने रूम पार्टनर :)

कर्णालीको "Shey Phoksundo"मा हावा सरर

2007-05-15T01:13:00.000-07:00

धेरै भयो नेपालीमा लेख्छु बनेर बसेको तर लेखिएन तर आज नभ्एको टुप्पी कसेर भ्एपनि म नेपालीमा लेख्न प्रयास गर्दै छु ।
तर शायद अङ्रेजिमा टाईप गर्ने बानी भएर होला नेपालीमा टाईप गर्न कताकता गार्हो हुदो रैछ ।
ए मैन कुरा त बन्नै बिर्सेंछु ,आज मैले youtube मा नेपथ्यको अमृत दाइको म्युजिक भिडियो "सा कर्णाली"
हेरेको थिए , साह्रै नै राम्रो लाग्यो । हुनत नेपथ्यको "गण्डकीको तिरैमा" मेरो बेस्ट गीत हो तर नेपथ्यको नाम अनि गीतै राम्रो
तर मलाई यो म्युजिक भिडियो अझै बिशेष लाग्यो , Sir Eric valliको caravan(himalaya)को central character थिन्ले लोन्ढुप अनि अमृत दाइलाई एकसाथ देख्दा कताकता यो गीत मलाई caravan
को OST जस्तो लाग्यो :)
Bravo ! bravo ! keep rocking Nepal :).

PS: if you are interested to know more about the movie caravan ( now named : himalaya)check the site.
http://www.kino.com/himalaya/
also
http://www.eric-valli.com/
He is one of Nepal's true friend who let the world know more about Nepal and our Himalaya's through his lenses.

अन्तिम भोज

2007-04-26T01:27:00.000-07:00

The last Supper : Then

The Last Supper :Now

नयाँ नयाँ सजाउ है संसार

2007-04-22T00:26:00.000-07:00

धेरै छ भन्नु तिमीलाई, मात्र तिमी साथ दिदै गर....
दुख्खमा पनि तिमी मेरो साथ नछोड ।